Vermont Personal Trainer Specializing in Private 1-on-1 Fitness Coaching

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{Guest Post}- 5 (Fitness) Lessons from a Father of 4

My writing 'paternity leave' continues!

Baby Watch Update: As of Tuesday night, no baby yet, but I’m still going to milk this LOA as much as possible…

I am super excited to have another awesome gust article from a Coach I've worked alongside for half a dozen years in my previous position.

Dustin wrote a nice intro for himself so I don't have to do too much jibber-jabber right here. I throughly enjoyed reading Coach's post and I am incredibly thankful he reached out to help for the paternity-leave cause. Coach, I look forward to repaying the favor!


Hello Friends here at Purposeful Strength! Coach Dustin here while Coach Casey is out. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to pass on 5 lessons from a Father of 4, given that Casey is adding one to the Lee clan.

I'm a father of three, soon to be four kids. I'm a newly hired manager of a gym in Milton (Vermont) and my wife stays home to home educate our kids, as well as watching another boy some days of the week.

To say that we like kids is an understatement.

To say that we're busy is an understatement.

However, in the words of Martin Rooney, the Founder of Training For Warriors,

“You're a product of your priorities. You have 168 hours a week. If you can't find 5 to workout, you're not busy, you're insane.”

What Rooney is trying to say, with his normal color and flare, is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. Let's use some of them to reach our goals, fitness or otherwise.

So, without further ado, 5 Lessons From a Father of 4:


1. Set Goals for Yourself.

We've all heard that the goals we set should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and have some kind of Time attached to it. S.M.A.R.T. Goals are great. And while these things are true, they don't mean anything if you don't have any goals. What do you want to achieve? Is it lower body fat? How much lower, and by when? Is it a better 40 time? How much faster do you need to get? Set those goals with purpose because all of your training will revolve around them. A sprinter has to train differently than a powerlifter. We can't multitask, no matter what your employer, or perhaps your resume, says.

Sometimes, however, we don't want to set goals because they make us accountable. We just want to go to the gym and see what happens. We think about food enough to drive ourselves crazy. That works, right? Sorry. I can understand not wanting to submit to the pressure of goal achievement, but it is exactly that pressure that makes goals happen.

With 3, soon to be 4, kids running around, my time is important, and yours is too. Don't waste it. Set those goals. They focus your training as well. Pick a goal and watch what happens to your training. It really is remarkable.

2. Be Flexible.

Consistency is the key to achieving goals. Period. But what if something comes up last minute (sick kid anyone)? You might not be able to make it into the gym. Have a backup plan. I understand things come up and sometimes we really can't make it, but that's the exception more often that the rule. Squats, push ups, sit ups, mountain climbers and lunges can all be done anywhere. Make the most of your surroundings. During the shut down the kids sat in the car while I pushed it up and down the parking lot. They still talk about it.

3. Don't Assume.

Don't assume 10,000 steps will count for the days' training. Don't assume playing with the kids will count, even if you have highly energetic kids. Don't assume cleaning the house will count, or a manual labor job. Don't misunderstand me, all of these things play in to leading an active life, but they don't make up for your training. Set aside a separate time for training (see #5).

In the same vein, don't assume that if you missed a meal or skipped a training session, that the next one isn't important. The next one might be the most important. Don't assume the day is wasted or the goal has been lost! Pick yourself back up and try again.

4. Make Them a Part of it... Sometimes.

Who is “Them” to you. In the fitness world, we teach that you should make your goals public. This is because we all need help with accountability. Maybe you tell just a few people. They can hold you accountable. Fitness, and goals in general, are just more fun with others involved. Find a training buddy. Find someone who wants to do something similar to you. For me, I want to involve my kids with fitness early. So the few times I get to workout with them are full of silliness and laughter while my kids are young.

Other times, however, it's time to focus. In those times it's a more serious fun. We can certainly have fun, but there's also work to be done.

5. Make Training a Priority.

Training for a goal only works if you're moving towards it. Otherwise you're not really training, you're exercising. There's nothing wrong with exercising, but it's not training. Training involves a goal. And to reach a goal, training must take some kind of priority. No one is asking you to give up your whole life, unless you have some really lofty goals. Remember “a little on top of a little is a lot.” Did you know: reading only 10 pages a day, you could read a 1000 page book in 100 days? That means that you could reach 3650 pages in a year! That's a lot of books! It's simple math, but really profound in practice. So don't assume (rule #2 again) the whole goal must be accomplished in a day. It often doesn't work that way. 5 training sessions of 45 minutes each per week over six months to a year will accomplish a lot of fitness goals. Plus, making training a priority will show others, even your kids, that you're serious. It will teach them that if they want to accomplish something, all they have to do is work at it. Wouldn't that be a great lesson for every kid, or everybody, to learn?

(BONUS) Lead By Example.

Show others that it is possible. Set small goals first. Remember: a little on top of a little is eventually a lot. Once you start to achieve some goals, even small ones, people will take notice. Just like the first few pounds lost becomes self-motivating, so do the first few goals achieved. People are often fascinated by the person losing weight the fastest, but I can tell you, having spent a bunch of time in this business, it's the person making small nutritional changes over time that lasts the longest and keeps the weight off. Take your time. Enjoy the process. Then you'll be the one that someone stops and asks “How'd you do it?” Won't that be awesome?

For more Dustin Berry, he gave me the okay to share his IG handle right here- shoot him a DM and let him know his article kicked ass!


I’m sure you heard…but in case you haven’t

Start Here released on Monday this week- this is Purposeful Strength’s kick ass 12-week fitness program (with a bunch of other amazing tools) that was created to help you get a jump start on your fitness goals for 2022. In case you missed it, I wrote an introductory article about the program…you can check that out right here!

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